BabyLove

I Want Cake

I want chocolate cake. Rich, moist, decadant chocolate cake layered with smooth rich chocolate cream, covered with dark chocolate ganache and decorated with chocolate shavings and curls.


Unfortunately the last piece of chocolate cake I ate caused an obstruction. 12 hours of agonising pain overnight, followed by 3 days of moderate pain and a good week of all the usual symptoms of a flare. The offending cake was a chocolate mint mud cake that I bought for the weekend following my birthday. It was delicious. Thick, dense texture, moist and rich with a subtle minty flavour.

This is not the first time store bought cakes have interacted negatively with my temperamental digestive system. There was my friends chocolate wedding cake with the thick sugar laced marzipan and almond icing. That was some nice dessert. There was the oversized triple chocolate orange muffin with chocolate chips and topped with smooth ganache. That actually made my knees week. Some time ago I partook (is that a word?) of a layered piece of heaven. six layers of light chocolate cake, smooth chocolate cream, black cherries, pure chocolate icing, topped with buttery profiteroles filled with chocolate custard.

woah, I'm feeling a little light-headed...

I believe it's the use of fats and oils that causes all the grief. Store bought low fat cakes are often poor imitations of their delectable cousins. It's almost as though bakers have decided that removing the fats/oils also means removing the taste and quality. We can't have that. So I've experimented at home with low fat cakes and muffins with quite good results, in that they taste delicious and they don't cause my Crohn's to throw a tantrum.

The drawback here is, It means of course, that if I want chocolate cake (which I think we've already established that I do) I have to make it myself.

Sigh. I guess I'll be in the kitchen for the rest of the afternoon...

This is why you're fat...

Somebody sent me a link to this blog on twitter and at first it was funny, then it became a bit sad until finally I felt sick to my stomach... and still I couldn't look away.

I have no idea where on this site to post the link to this blog, but I feel I must post it. I need to share it with you all.

Do healthy people really put this stuff into their bodies?

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

I almost feel the need to do a workout after just looking. If food was a criminal offence most of this stuff would come with some serious jail time.

Thoughts?

Splish Splash

Underground chocolate dens

Last night I dreamt that chocolate was outlawed because scientists discovered that it has the same chemical effect on the brain as cocaine and in large quantities posed just as dangerous health risks as other drugs, such as obesity which then leads to heart problems, diabetes and death.

Of course I was horrified, and in no time at all I quickly sourced some underground supply of the delectible substance.

I spent the entire night holed up in seedy, dimly lit, Cocoa dens trying to get a fix. At one point I ran out of money and the dealer just wouldn't extend me anymore credit. I started to get agitated and began alternating between swearing at him and pleading with him.

It didn't take long before a guy that was 8 foot tall and 3 foot wide approached me and said in very James Earl Jones like voice "I think you've had enough" I made one last futile dash for the 80% cocoa stash on a nearby table and was promptly scooped up and thrown out the door. "Don't come around here no more ya bum" He shouted as I crawled out of the gutter.

It was then that I was approached by a rather unsavoury character in a long trench coat. He helped me to my feet and began telling me that he knew where we could get the good stuff. I went with him willingly to another of these Cocoa dens.

The air was thick with chocolate and the room was slightly to warm. It felt like I was breathing pure chocolate. I began to relax. The lights were low and soft music played gently in the background while semi-sleepy people rested about on worn red velvet couches. In the corner of the room was a giant chocolate fountain and littered around the bottom were an array of small children lazily dipping spoons and lollypops into it.

I was told that I could have unlimited access to this chocolate utopian world and all I had to do was sign away the rights to my bank accounts, house and dog. Hypnotised by the dark chocolate crème centres I could see in front of me I scrawled a rough signature on the piece of paper muttering something like, "Sure Bill, whatever you need, man" and took a seat in front of a pile. I began to eat as much as I could. nom nom nom...

I woke up from this dream feeling full, bloated and nauseas. My stomach is sore and crampy. It doesn't seem fair that I should suffer all the ill effects of gorging myself senseless on chocolate when I haven't actually had the pleasure of said chocolate. Where are the Crohn's police. I want to lodge a complaint.

exhale

I think I've forgotten what it's like to feel healthy. I know too many people who have their health without any real effort. While I don't begrudge them this in the slightest, sometimes I do feel a little twinge of envy. 

It's such a delicate balance between eating enough that your nourished, but not eating so much that you feel sick, eating something that's nutritious, but not going to upset the disease. Between getting enough exercise, but not wearing yourself out, taking it easy but not being sedentary. Between having a life, but not overdoing it, having a quiet one and becoming withdrawn...

Generally I do a pretty good job I think. So I'm throwing caution to the wind and having pizza, garlic bread and wine for dinner. Tonight I feel weary of this Crohn's saga.

Everything you never wanted to know about Crohn's Disease

While randomly roaming around the internet, as I often do in moments lacking of any alternative productive activity, I stumbled across Ventedspleen.com. One of the blogs there caught my attention. 

Tom Humberstone is a comic artist and illustrator based in London. His first comic 'Art School Scum' became a critically acclaimed cult hit and his latest book 'How to Date a Girl in 10 Days' won the 2008 Eagle Award for Favourite black and white British comic.

Tom Humberstone's "Everything you never wanted to know about Crohn's Disease" comic is an interesting piece. It's worth checking out.