Monday, August 13, 2012

Incy Wincy

Over dinner a couple of weeks back, my friend explained that the previous day she had been doing her weekly housework chores which included stripping the beds and changing the sheets. She said she'd done the sheets earlier in the day but had gotten distracted before putting the pillow cases on and so, some time just before going to bed she went into the room to finish the task. She lifted up one of the pillows to find a large spider and what she mistook to be an awful lot of little dots of spider poo... until the little dots started to move. In no time the bed was covered in hundreds of tiny baby spiders.

Her husband, who had turned a very pale shade of white, stared at her wide eyed and mouth open in horror. She went on to say she sprayed the bed with bug spray, swept up the bodies and finished putting the pillow cases on. Her husband looked positively sick. It seemed this was the first he'd heard of it.

I can't decide if she's amazingly cool under pressure or completely bat-shit crazy.

There is no way in hell you could have gotten me into that bed after some eight legged hairy ho' bag had spawned her 6 million hairy bastard babies on my pillow. You could have drowned those fuckers in a Mortien swimming pool and it still wouldn't have been enough for me.

Why am I bringing this up? Because so far today I've had three little baby spiders crawl on me and now all I can feel the little tickles of phantom spiders crawling all over my skin. One of the baby spiders (actual, not phantom) sprinted around the bend of the baby's ear and across her forehead as I was feeding her. It took every ounce of impulse control I had not to smack it right there on her head with a magazine.


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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Magnetic Meals Planner

So I made this after seeing something similar on Pinterest. I'm generally not very crafty but I'm pretty happy with the result. It's basically a menu planner for the evening meal. I'm chronically disorganised and wind up making a mad dash to the stupidmarket three or four nights a week to pick something up for dinner. And because I'm that disorganised, we wind up having the same thing more often than not. So in the interests of variety and sanity, I've made this. Down the left are the days of the week with what we're having for dinner. On the right is a pocket for the various meal labels, below that another pocket for retired meal labels, or stuff we've just had or to hold a pencil. Below that are post-its.

I used:

An A4 frame. I used an old Ikea one that was laying around.

3 sheets of coloured cardboard to make the menu pouches. More or less.

1 sheet of scrapbooking paper to cover the backing board of the frame but you could use fabric or leave it as it is.

Magnets. Strong ones. I used one each for the days of the week clips and then the rest (I bought a pack of 20) I stuck to the back of the frame so it would stick to the fridge. You could hang it on the wall IF you live in a house that allows for such things.

Bulldog clips. Make sure they're metal so they stick to the magnets for easy removal and planning.

Stickers. Whatever takes your fancy. I used hippy flowers because that's what I had and the colours matched the paper I had. LUCKY!

Glue. I'd recommend the dries clear kind unless your gluing skills are better than mine, which, let's face it, they probably are. But go clear anyway. Trust me, when you accidentally smear glue over the leg of the hardwood table you'll be glad of it.

Clear contact. I covered the printed meal labels in contact to give them a bit more strength and to make them easy to clean. Anything even remotely associated with food will, in my house anyway, become covered in crap.

Post-it notes. Dementia will be a smooth transition for me. If I don't write it down it slips in the never regions of my mind where it will inevitably resurface at some irrelevant time long past the moment I actually needed to recall it. It is here that I can jot down new dinner ideas or reminders or baking ideas.

Just cut and paste the bits and pieces where they go. If I can figure it out, so can you. Or search on Pinterest. Google. Where ever.

On the fridge!

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