Saturday, April 2, 2011

Enjoy it now because...

According to the people of the world I will never sleep, eat, shower, drink coffee, read, watch TV, bake, go anywhere, do anything ever again. I won't have the time or the energy. Once this baby comes I will never, ever be able to do a single solitary thing at all. My house will be a mess because I wont do any housework, I won't have time. I'll be a mess because showers and personal hygiene will be a thing of the past. I'll gain even more weight because I wont have the energy to exercise or the time to eat properly.

My partner's life won't change at all though.

I've been told to get all the sleep I can now because once the baby comes... I didn't know you could bank up sleep, store it up in advance for times you can't sleep, how handy is that? I was complaining of feeling bored and restless and somebody actually said "Enjoy it now" Are you fucking kidding me? Have you felt bored and restless? If I never feel bored and restless again I'll be pretty happy.

When I started telling people I was pregnant all I heard about was how awful pregnancy is. Morning sickness, weak bladder, fatigue, weight gain, your skin breaks out, you get haemorrhoids, stretch marks, the baby kicks you all day and night, you can't sleep... blah blah blah. I've really enjoyed being pregnant. I think feeling my baby move is the single most amazing thing I've ever felt. Morning sickness was minimal, I maintained healthy diet and exercised well into my pregnancy. Sleep has been disturbed in the third trimester, my breathing was laboured as the baby pressed on my diaphragm and I got this annoying itching but, for fucks sake, none of that is really much to complain about. Try an intestinal blockage some time. Hell, I"ve had side effects from Crohn's medications that were worse.

From what I've heard labour with be traumatic and painful and I'll wish I was dead. The hospital will send me away because they'll claim my contractions are braxston hicks and when I'm just far enough away from the ER the baby will start to come. There's a billion complications that are likely and I'll need a c-section, blood transfusion and Crohn's surgeon on stand-by. My vagina will stretch and never be the same again. They'll have to cut it because the baby's bulbous head wont fit. It'll breach. That's if I don't give birth in some public toilet halfway back to the hospital first.

What the fuck is wrong with people??? I don't understand this compulsion everyone has to fill a pregnant woman's ears with horror stories about pregnancy, about the birth, about caring for a newborn. What is this need women have to scare the absolute shit out of each other?

I mean, if it's that's truly horrible, why would anybody ever have a second kid?

I feel like I've ranted about this a lot, but at the same time I feel like I'm being bombarded by negativity all the time. I'm pretty sure I've seen women with babies out and about, in shopping centres and coffee houses and cafes. I think I can recall seeing women with children having lunch and browsing in clothing stores and bookstores. I've seen them in parks and gardens. I live near a golf course and I know I've seen women with babies walking and (some of them even jogging!) around the walking track. Some of them even looked... dare I say it... good. They looked fit and healthy and were smiling. OMG!

if I've seen these women, then obviously, life doesn't end once the baby comes around. While I may feel tired and the baby's needs will obviously come before my own but I'm pretty sure the kid will sleep long enough for me to have a coffee, jump in the shower and throw on some pants, and if not, the baby does have a second parent who is more than capable of stepping in for 10 minutes.

Yes, life is going to change in a big way, but let's not get ridiculous about it.



  1. Bloody hell. People are so weird... I'm not sure what compels people to bombard you with such negativity.

    Hope having a rant has helped. I guess it's not always practical to tell people to STFU, although I'm sure if I were in your shoes I'd be making that my mantra!

  2. Thanks. It has helped.

    I've certainly done my fair share of telling people to STFU. The only trouble is, you get labelled as hormonal if you lose it, even if it's well deserved. Now if there is anything that a non-suicidal person should avoid, it's calling a hormonal person, hormonal. Fork, meet head!

  3. Look, call me idealistic (it's very early days so I can't reveal my identity) but I think being pregnant is a gift. It's a positive creation of life. It's not to be taken for granted. I hate when people try to hide their bump (despite being halfway along and totally showing), I hate when they bitch about every single thing to do with pregnancy and they stop their lives completely just because they're knocked up.
    There will certainly be challenges ahead, tiredness, hormonal mood swings, stress and pain but there is also a wonderous gift of life awaiting arrival. Sure, baby blues and post natal depression can be a real issue for some women but some people are honestly just whingers.
    I plan on showing off my future bump (couple months to go) and enjoying the fact that I am experiencing all these new, crazy symptoms. That makes it real and I couldn't be happier :)

  4. I loved being pregnant! I loved labour ( yes, I'm weird)! I loved having a newborn...even with sleep deprivation! I love watching every step of the lives of my children! Don't listen to the negative ninnies out there!

    You will have a shower again, you will be able to clean you house ( though it may not stay neat for long). You will still have a personal/social will just be different. The biggest change will be that you will have more love for another human being than you ever thought possible!! Hope all goes well!

  5. Life gets more exciting after a baby in a good way. Things are never boring!

  6. Well written! After 25 years two things stand out in my mind... no make it a few things.

    I don't remember having any morning sickness, and I had a really healthy, happy pregnancy

    I remember the nursing staff telling my husband *he* needed to keep up his strength and to go and get lunch while I was in labour. I remember being incensed when he walked back in my room, rubbed his tummy and said it was delicious!

    I remember being completely delighted at being buxom for the first time in my life after Day 3 from birth.

    I remember I was asked to do a market survey at a shopping centre when my son was about 8 weeks old. They asked me what brand of jam I used and I honestly couldn't remember ANY kind of jam, not just the one I used, but any brand of jam in existence. The market survey lady looked at me kindly and said "Not getting much sleep love?" haha (Little did she know I probably couldn't come up with many brands now! :)

  7. Don't listen to them. I loved being pregnant and my crohns was so well a matter of fact I felt my best during pregnancies. It could be as you said...we've had lots of pain and I'll take being pregnant over that any day. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and your precious new baby.